Q&A - Image Tweaks 

I’ve taken my image, but it needs a bit of a tweak…

I’ve taken my image, but it needs a bit of a tweak…

  • Q. Can you crop my images to make them look nicer?

    Yes.

    You can do this yourself on our photo kiosks, or if it’s a tricky job, we can do it for you for a small charge.

  • Q. Can you correct the brightness/contrast in my images?

    Yes.

    You can do this yourself on our photo kiosks, or if it’s a tricky job, we can do it for you for a small charge.

  • Q. Can you correct the colours in my images?

    Yes.

    You can do this yourself on our photo kiosks, or if it’s a tricky job, we can do it for you for a small charge.

  • Q. Are you going to cut and paste that answer for everything?

    Yes. Pretty much.

  • Q. Can you remove red eye from images?

    Yes.

    You can do this yourself on our photo kiosks, or if it’s a tricky job, we can do it for you for a small charge. We can even remove green-eye from images of your pets or other animals.

  • Q. Can you change my colour images to black & white or sepia?

    Yes.

    You can do this yourself on our photo kiosks, or if it’s a tricky job, we can do it for you for a small charge.

  • Q. Is that the end of the cut and paste?

    Yes. Pretty much.

  • Q. Can you stitch 2 or more of my photos together to create a panoramic image?

    Yes, provided your photos are “stitchable” i.e. they overlap each other and were taken in quick succession.

    Care needs to be taken when taking images to create panoramas that lighting conditions remain constant(ish) across the whole vista. Otherwise, you end up with an image with a dark side (must resist… temptation to do Star Wars reference… overwhelming) and photos bad you will have, mmmm (damn).

  • Q. Can you create a mosaic image of one of my images from lots of my other images?

    If you mean something (that'll be) like this (when we get round to actually posting it):

    Sample Mosaic Image

    Yes.

  • Q. Can you create a collage of images?

    Yes.

    You can do this yourself on our photo kiosks, or if it’s a tricky job, we can do it for you for a small charge.

  • Q. Really, more cut and paste?

    Yes.

  • Q. And more references to the cut and paste?

    Yes.

  • Q. And more cut and paste references to the cut and paste?

    Yes.

  • Q. Is that supposed to be funny?

    Yes. Well, no. Sort of.

    The knowing references to the cut and paste are not of themselves funny, but the repetition of that tedious banality beyond what would otherwise be acceptable creates tension. And tension is funny. Sort of.

    And, then, by enjoining you, dear audience, in the conspiracy of banality, because we know, you know, we know, you know that its tedious and banal, implies that we think of you as sophisticated, beautiful people, capable of recognising the knowingness of the references. But, obviously, we’re not talking about everyone. We know that not everyone will get it. Or appreciate that the conspiracy, is itself, a device: which necessarily requires a division between those that get it and those that don’t, in order to make the sophisticated, beautiful people, feel beautiful and sophisticated.

  • Q. Aren’t you just nicking Stewart Lee’s stand up now?

    Yes. Pretty much.

  • Q. Is that supposed to be funny?

    Yes. Well, no. Sort of.